Petite Epiphany

I have a friend, Tony, who is a tree surgeon. Living in Portland, which is basically a big city plopped down in the middle of a rain forest, fellows who know trees are in high demand. Tony is very devout and he told me one day that sometimes as he is dangling high above the ground he gets what he calls "petite epiphanies." These are just little "aha" moments that lead to even deeper thought.

Yesterday at mass, I experienced my own petite ephiphany. As you may have read in previous entries, I struggle with our pastor, and I have considered leaving our parish for another where the mass is treated with the respect it deserves. So as our pastor was saying mass yesterday, I tried to set aside all of the peccadillos that get under my skin and make the best of it.

We got to the part of the mass where the priest elevates the host, and there it hit me. Christ is present...eventhough. It struck me just how merciful Our Lord is that he still comes to us in his body, blood, soul, and divinity eventhough the priest may not appreciate just what he is holding in his hands. No matter how haphazardly the priest treats the Eucharist, Christ comes to be with us anyway.

It has given me a new perspective on my dilema of should I stay or should I go from this parish. While I wish, dearly wish, all priests would cherish the Eucharist; as long as they are using the proper matter and form, Christ still becomes present. If in mass I concentrate too hard on all the little things and perhaps even some major items that are just not reverent, I might miss the whole point of my being there which is to be in communion with Our Lord.

Certainly I will continue to advocate a more orthodox approach to the mass; however, I have come to realize that if I experience an irreverent mass, I am simply watching Christ get scourged at the pillar, and the fact that he continues to want to be with us in this most intimate sacrament is a miraculous sign of His divine mercy.